THE LOST & FOUND INTERVIEW:
THE RETURN OF “BROOKLYN” SHAWNIE
Once again, Lost & Frowned sits down for a chat with Brooklyn's infamous “Brooklyn” Shawnie.
L&F: Well, the big question is: what’s new with Brooklyn Shawnie?
BS: I won a radio contest, what’s up.
BS: Thank you, thank you, thank you. It all started one day when my Dad was listening to his radio—he’s just crazy about Flamingo music.
L&F: Don’t you mean “Flamenco” ?
BS: No. (long, uncomfortable pause) Anyway, I accidentally knocked the radio over, and as I was trying to find his station I heard this DJ say, "caller 15 wins." So I called and won.
L&F: What did you win?
BS: I won two Creed tickets with backstage passes man! I couldn’t believe it. I had just three questions for them: where, when, and what the hell is Creed ?
L&F: Well, Creed is a very popular rock band with a positive message to its
BS: Yeah, the Casey Kasem wannabe at W-TIT already clued me in, peanut-neck. What’s up?
L&F: Sorry, please continue.
BS: So I picked up my two tickets and went to the show. Un-for-tune-ate-ly, I misread the ticket and got there a day early. No lines though, what’s up.
L&F: So no concert?
BS: I went home, had myself some Stouffers® chipped beef and corn, took a nap, and went back the next day.
L&F: With a lady friend?
BS: Hell no, man, I scalped the other ticket. There are always tons-o-kitties at a rock show, so why not make a little cash along the way, what’s up. So I’m at the show, and it was kick-ass, man! There were lights and flames and the music ruled. Massive power rock licks with equally massive power rock vocals. They had the three P’s, man: passion, presence, and...passion, presence, and...wait. Passion, presence...passion, presence, and? What was the third one? Passion, presence, and...wait. Passion, presence and...
BS: Oh, you’re tellin’ the story now? Don’t jump down my throat man! Can I finish? Can I finish? CanIFinishCanIFinishCanIFinish?!!
L&F: So, it sounds like Creed really won you over.
(Brooklyn Shawnie gets up and leaves the interview. Forty-seven minutes later, he calls in from a payphone.)
BS: They sure did win me over. So, after the show it was time to utilize my backstage pass. So, ol’ B-Shawnie maked his way to the VIP area, and here we go. The fellas from Creed are hangin’ so I approach. After explaining to them about the contest and the fact that I had no idea who the fuck they were but am now a super fan, they were really cool to me. It felt great, man--me and my new favorite band just chillin’ and willin’ what’s up.
L&F: Sounds like a good time...
BS: Oh it was, until I decided to take it to the next level. Seein’ that I was havin’ such a dope time, the only thing missing was the sweet taste of my primo
stuff. So I pull out one of my “Tomahawk” joints and sparked that bitch. Well, no sooner than you could say ”Stryper for the new Millennium,“ I was booted right out the door. A group of large men who smelt like tulips sent me packin’. Apparently, some of the guys in Creed are former pot addicts‚ and got pissed when I lit that monster in their presence. But that was cool because everybody knows that the real party at a rock show is in the parking lot.
L&F: No one parties like the fans, right?
BS: Um--not at a Creed show, you goddamn bucketmouth! Those mutha sucka fans are lame. They’re all sittin’ around exchanging email addresses and nerd shit like that. It’s a good thing ol’ Brooklyn Shawnie had a little somethin-somethin’ on the back up.
L&F: On the back up?
BS: Before I came into the show I hid a gallon of Johnny Bastard’s Old Time Whiskey® behind a dumpster. Needless to say, that’s pretty much it because I kinda took an unscheduled nap after I finished that shit. Woke up the next morning in the parking lot, what’s up?
L&F: Sounds like something that could only happen to Brooklyn Shawnie. Has any of this affected your opinion of Creed?
BS: Hell no, man. Those Rock-a-doodle-doos can drop a deuce in my toilet any time, what’s up.
--Photos by Chip
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